(STEPPING INTO MAGGIE’S SHOE)
© Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde
I was on the floor throwing tantrums; I was using my legs to scatter things, my hands to push things…Why?
I was 8 years old at that time and mum had taken me to the shopping mall to get some groceries. I had seen a beautiful Barbie doll and wanted it at all cost. Those were the days when there were no credit cards, so Mum didn’t have extra cash to pay for the doll.
I wasn’t going to take no for an answer, I fell to the ground and started throwing tantrums at the shopping mall. Mum tried to calm me down, explaining to me that she was out of cash and would buy it next time, but it was like pouring kerosene into fire; I cried the more.
Mum, eventually had to drop some groceries in order to buy the doll. As we got out to the parking lot, an elderly woman walked up to my mother…
“Ma’am good afternoon, I am sorry for interfering, but you need to work on your child. I am sorry, my manners, my name is Mrs. Tilewa Brown. I have been a child psychologist for over 30 years. Ma’am you are building a fake life for your child, the life of getting whatever she wants. Now it’s okay, because you are very much around to give her what she wants, but someday as she grows up and leaves home, she might have serious issues letting go of things, she might have other issues which may escalate to a lot of psychological problems. For example, she may later suffer from Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is an anxiety disorder in which people have recurring, unwanted thoughts, ideas or sensations (obsessions) that make them feel driven to do something repetitively (compulsions), she might also suffer from…”
“Madam, please, with all due respect there is nothing wrong with my child. She is just being naughty and for what she has done I will spank her when we get home. Thanks.”
My mother had walked away, but she didn’t fulfil her word of spanking me. I was the only child and that made me get away with everything I did…
As I sat on the floor in Julius’ empty room, that episode of the shopping mall was what flashed through my mind as the words of that woman finally made sense to me…
Mum had always gotten me everything I ever needed, which explains why she went to that extent of wanting to get me Apostle, but a time had come that I was not with her, so she couldn’t get me Julius back.
“What next?” was the bell ringing in my head, as I laid down on the concrete floor of Julius’ house. I couldn’t go back to my parents’.
“My mother will mock me badly” I thought silently….
“Julius I will kill you the day I ever set my eyes on you…You were just smarter than I was this time around…” I said as I started throwing tantrums like a child once again. This was one of my habits since I was a little child, I always threw tantrums when denied anything, but here was I with no mum to give me what I wanted.
“What do I really want?” I asked myself and I couldn’t find the answer.
For the first time since I was a little child, I decided to be calm to know what I really wanted…
“Did I really love Apostle?”
“No….” the answer screamed very loudly in my heart…
“So why did I go all out to get him?”
“Greed! I just always have my eye on anything that isn’t mine” I said truthfully to myself.
“I am sorry, God, I am really sorry… please forgive me, for the spirit of greed that has ruled my life since I was a little kid. You know whenever I don’t get what I want, my body begins to vibrate, I throw tantrums, but I didn’t know it will lead me here. God, you know I am a good girl, I am sorry for wishing to be in Pastor Maggie’s shoe, I didn’t know the devil was around eavesdropping on my wish. I am sorry Lord… I will confess my bad deeds and I am ready to face the consequences of my actions.”
“You are forgiven” I heard a voice behind me.
As I turned around, I didn’t see anyone, I became scared. I jumped up from the floor, looked out through the window, I saw no one. I became suddenly cold, but then I heard again…
“But you have to enter her shoes, you wished for it, and your wish has been approved.” The voice was so loud and real. I didn’t know whether it was God or the devil who spoke or the insane voices in my head. I ran out of the house and started running.
I walked, and I kept walking for close to 3 hours before I found myself in front of Apostle’s church.
“How did I get here?” I asked myself. I was standing at the entrance of the church looking lost when I heard a loud horn behind me. I turned to check who it was, it was the Apostle.
The security men rushed to open the gate, I moved away from his front to make way for him to drive into the church compound. The moment he parked his vehicle, he got down in a rush, asking the security to tell me to come in… I saw a beautiful lady alighting from his car.
As I walked towards him, I knew what I wanted to do. I was going to spill the beans
and tell him everything….
“Happy, what is wrong?” Apostle asked as he looked at how dirty I was looking.
“Can I see you privately?” I said referring to the presence of the lady as a problem.
“You can tell me whatever the problem is, this is Chaba, she is my fiancée, she is a South African.”
What…? Was this Apostle ok? It was barely months he was saying God told him I was his wife, did God quickly change his mind…? A fiancée from South Africa?
I said hi to her and calmly said “You are welcome ma, but I insist sir, that I need to speak to you privately.”
Apostle didn’t agree to have his fiancée leave, so I decided to spill the beans. He told us to go with him to the office. There was something about his new fiancée that wasn’t right, but I couldn’t place my finger on it.
“Julius has left me, and I am not surprised because I am medically insane, also I want to let you know, I have a hand in Pastor Maggie’s death, not directly but through my actions, also I was the one who poured acid on Christabel’s face. That’s all.”
Apostle and his fiancée were so shocked that they looked speechlessly at me…
To be continued