(STEPPING INTO MAGGIE’S SHOE)
© Opeyemi Ojerinde Akintunde
Gabriel was stroking my hair and I was enjoying every bit of it, but at the same time the voice in my head was loud repeatedly saying
“Do you love me?”
“Yes Lord, you know I do!” I replied in my heart…
“I am not a wicked guy who just wants to snatch you away from your husband, but I feel this is what you should do, your husband is an adulterer and the BIBLE permits divorce based on that…”
I gently removed my head from his shoulder in shock as to how he knew my husband was committing adultery. I also tried to feign ignorance.
“He is not!” I said in defense.
“Happy, you know he is, you think I don’t know he sleeps with my mother at your house? Happy, how do you cope staying in that house knowing that your husband is sleeping with another married woman…”
“It’s my cross I have to bear.”
“No, you are not Jesus. You shouldn’t bear any cross.”
“Who told you?”
“No one, I have the password to my mother’s phone which she is unaware of. I read her chats with the Apostle.”
“What I don’t understand is why your mother is doing this? Adultery is a sin against God. She commits it every week and yet raises her hands in church on Sunday.”
“My father hardly has her time.”
“That doesn’t mean…”
It felt like I was preaching to myself. I became irritated with myself for staying in the hotel with Gabriel…
“I need to go!” I stood up and wore my sandals back.
“Go?, we just got here!”
“Listen Gabriel, as much as doing this makes sense and is justifiable, if I let this happen, I am no less like your mother. Let me see this as a cross I will bear… I have made a lot of mistakes in my past out of greed, I am not about to compound issues by adding this to the list. You are a good person and if wishes were horses, I would have loved to divorce my husband to marry you, but divorce was allowed by Moses because of the hardness of the heart of people to let go of hurts, but I know God would rather want me to stay in this marriage and work things out.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?”
I nodded in the affirmative.
“Ok, can I at least get a last hug” he said.
I drew close to him and gave him a hug, but all hell was let loose. The emotions could not be controlled, we both lost our sense of reasoning, but just at the point of making the everlasting mistake I would have regretted all my life, God gave me the strength to push him off me as I ran into the bathroom crying profusely…
“God this is not fair, not fair one bit, I know I wished for this, but if you knew this was how complex it was going to be, you should have cautioned me… God I want to have sex, God I really want to, please, please.”
“Do you love me?”
“Yes Lord, I love you…” and the depth of that question broke me down.
“If you love me, you won’t do what will hurt me, and adultery hurts me.”
I cried and cried and cried uncontrollably in the toilet throwing tantrums before God, knowing God was not giving me Gabriel. He was telling me to stay in the marriage with Ray. Gabriel kept knocking at the door apologizing but I didn’t answer him. This was between God and me.
After about 15 minutes, I heard the door of my room open and close. I knew Gabriel was out.
I stood up, washed my face and came to a painful resolution.
“Apostle, I won’t let what you are doing affect me one bit, you have your ways to settle with God, I will be the best housemate I can be and the best mother in the Lord in the church. Mrs. Beecroft and the other women you are in for trouble…”
Gabriel kept calling my number on my way home, I decided to do what I knew how to do best. I barred his number from calling me.
As I stepped out of the taxi, I met Mrs. Beecroft driving out of my gate. I wove her car down but she refused to stop. Apostle was standing in the compound surprised I was back.
“Guess your lover boy disappointed you, not everyone is good at this game!”
I felt really hurt at his show of stupid pride doing what was wrong. I didn’t have an answer for a baby like him, but I needed to clear the air…
“On the contrary, I disappointed him because I suddenly remembered I was not a woman of easy virtue like his mother and most importantly I remembered that nothing should separate me from the love of God, not even the emotional pain my callous husband inflicts on me every day.”
He was shocked and didn’t say a word as I went into the house. He followed me and asked in the living room “So you didn’t sleep with him?” He said like a little boy who had just won a victory.
“How is that your business? Apostle Ray, you have brought me into your life and your home, I have certain rules if you want this home to be peaceful.”
“Our salvation is personal and since you are not passionate about keeping yours, mine is very important. First and foremost, I don’t want to ever see any of your loose women in this house again, you can make a better arrangement elsewhere, but as for my home I don’t plan on condoling it here. The atmosphere here needs to be cleansed. Secondly, I will prepare your food everyday which you must eat from, the day you don’t eat my food will be hell.”
“Are you crazy?” He said not believing the audacity I had.
“That is exactly the right word to describe me right now, and you know crazy can be deadly…” I said.
He hissed and walked up the stairs like a little child who has been refused what he really wants…
“You think you are a naughty child, well I used to be a naughty child too, who knows exactly how to get what she wants. Apostle Ray, you will give me exactly what I want” I said and had a very good laugh.
To be continued.