Your last relationship ended before you were ready to call it quits. Now, it seems like it has been an eternity since you were even in an intimate relationship. While you know you shouldn’t rush into a new relationship, you still can’t help but be anxious to have a loving partner in your life. What do you do? Are you really ready to be in another relationship right now? Do you really know what you are looking for in a partner?
Before you make that type of commitment with someone else, you owe it to yourself, and to any prospective partner, to learn a few truths. These truths may not be easy for you to look at, they might bring up unpleasant memories and they might not be what you want to admit as being the truth, but if you are going to have any semblance of a chance at a healthy relationship, then it has to be done.
First, you need to understand what happened with your last relationship. The answer, no matter how painful it might be, should be obvious. Now, take a look at your track record. Has this become a pattern for you? If you were to blame for the breakup was it something you have seen yourself do before? Be honest with yourself or you are destined to repeat history.
Next, you need to analyze exactly what it is you are looking for in a partner. This needs to be put down on paper because as we write it down and go over the words, it opens up our minds to other thoughts we might not have ever given time to before.
Once you have a complete list, compare your last partner to the person you just described. Are they one and the same? If not, why were you drawn to them? If so, why didn’t it work out since they were what you believe you were looking for? The answers to one of these two areas is going to be an enlightened experience.
Finally, you need to decide if your list is true, or if your perception of your ideal partner has changed. Is your choice of a partner even realistic? You may be having difficulty finding the right person because you are asking too much from another person. If you can’t come up with a simplistic answer without creating too much stress over the thought, then perhaps you need to take a little time and re-examine both yourself and what you think your ideal partner is like!