It’s common information in counselling circles, that the marriage relationship is a distinct entity from you or your marriage partner. The marriage relationship is a team with it’s very own specific set of features and constraints to prevent it from breaking apart.
But what is the reason these features make such a large difference?
First, they are important because for a marriage relationship to grow and get more robust, it needs to become a top priority for the married pair. It’s essential for the couple to figure out how to put the marriage first.
Second, one of the key explanations for a broken marriage is that all kinds of things like kids, work, in-laws, hobbies and friends, end up getting a higher billing on the list of personal priorities for one or both of the spouses.
A lot of married couples are regularly surprised by the amount of help; I’m going to utter a four letter word; work, that is encompassed in being married and having the relationship function well. There exists a belief that building a marriage should just happen naturally, but stop to consider a few things for a moment.
Both of the partners are different people, and with those differences come possible friction regarding many things like, what sort of color the house should be painted, how to invest their money or what’s acceptable for their children to watch for TV shows.
Add to that, the reality that both spouses were raised in different households by distinctive parents who had their own rules regarding, cleanliness of the house, meal times and where to vacation.
Good relationship counselling shows you how to give the marriage top billing by considering how your actions will effect your marriage.
For instance, if I pitch in to assist in keeping the house tidy, it can decrease the workload my wife has and therefore give the two of us a lot more time to do things together. The problem about the division of chores around the house, is time after time one of the chief complaints married women have about their marital relationship. Most standards men have for cleanliness in the home are a far cry from the usual feminine standards. It’s crucial for me as a husband to take into account my wife’s particular stance and be willing to adjust my standards so the house will be a more peaceful place.
If my wife is determined to get enough regular exercise, then our marriage relationship is healthier because I’m not obligated to overcompensate for her emotional fatigue that results from her lack of movement.
The very same condition exists regarding what we decide to eat or not eat. If I’m flippant regarding what I put in my mouth and therefore more prone to sickness, this puts an extra burden on my wife that could be avoided if I was to consider the long term effect my actions have on others close to me.