Coaching for Self Esteem – Seeing Perfection vs Fixing People

Switch to Night mode

The whole class was astonished.

We were all coaches and healers. We’d spent most of our lives in improving ourselves and others. Yet what we saw shook the very foundations of everything we believed.

Our teacher asked for a volunteer to come up front for yet another demonstration. We were about to see something that would make our heads spin.

You might have heard of muscle testing. It’s a technique to find out if something is good for us or bad for us. Chiropractors and other health practitioners use it all the time.

She tested the volunteer for a baseline. In other words, you have to start by making sure the testing works correctly.

Then came the earthquake. Our teacher asked everyone to send healing energy to the volunteer. Then she muscle tested again.

You’re not going to believe this. The person tested weak!

The volunteer weakened when we sent healing energy to her!

We were about to get the next earthquake to complete the collapse of what we thought we knew.

The seminar leader asked everyone to see the person as already perfect in that moment. Guess what.

The volunteer tested strong!

She became weaker when we saw her as needing healing energy. She became stronger when we saw her as already perfect!

Whoa. What have I been doing all my life? What have we been taught?

Our intentions were good, but …

Perfection happens where someone sees themselves or someone else as perfect and does something, or nothing, for the benefit of the other person. The word intention may not even apply. We see the person as already perfect. There is no intention to change anything.

Black magic is where someone has an intention to damage another.

Misguided Intention

What the heck is misguided intention?

Misguided intention is where we see a person or situation as screwed up and we try to fix them. This is gray magic.

Does that shake things up for you? It sure shook me up.

What have I been doing all my life? What have I been taught?

Sure, you can see things as messed up and fix them. For example, you can see a house as dirty. You can then clean it up. And yes, then it’s clean.

Does it stay clean? There is a never-ending activity of cleaning the house as it keeps getting dirty. Does that mean that, if you always see the house as clean, it will always be clean? You still go through the motions of cleaning.

But we want to raise self esteem. And I can tell you that if we always see ourselves in our perfection, that we’ll dissolve anything that limits our self esteem.

This is good stuff!

Humility is fine. But that doesn’t mean that we tear ourselves down.

True humility is seeing perfection in others.


Have you seen the Jack Nicholson smile? That smile tells me that Jack is really cool.

How about the Tom Cruise smile? It tells me that we’re both really cool. Does that smile help others to be really cool?

What does all this mean?

We had our foundations shaken. Are we going to go around with the belief that we’re screwed up? Are we going to keep fixing ourselves?

Is there a better way?

Glad you asked! We can practice seeing ourselves and others as already perfect.

This approach goes way beyond fixing your self esteem. There is nothing to fix. All you have to do is see your own perfection.

Would you like to help other people? See them as already perfect.

Copyright 2006 by Jim Kitzmiller


Leave a Reply