(A short article and true life story for Believers).
My prayer is that through this Article, all broken and depressed hearts would be healed in Jesus name.
I believe we are all familiar with the word, Rejection
What is Rejection?
Rejection is an emotional, hurtful experience that many choose to be quiet about because of the hurt that comes with accepting it. The truth however is that, a refusal to admit a pain doesn’t necessarily absence the existence of it.
Though sad, but rejection is a reality that everyone faces in one way or another because it is a part of life.
Raise your hand if you’ve ever faced rejection before. I raise both my hands and legs😃😃. Should I share my story with you? I can’t share all in just an article but let me concentrate on what we can learn from.
Being someone born differently and specially (physically challenged) I had to deal with rejection right from childhood.
Picture a scenario of a group of children playing joyfully in a compound and another special child running to join them in the play. But at the sight of this special child, other children run away, laughing and refusing to play with her nor allowing her to join in their play.
Sad, right? Smiles… That was me as a child.
Playing with my mates was not without ridicule or mockery. Was it easy? Definitely not! Accepting rejection is never easy.
Fast forward to my junior secondary school. Being accepted was something I struggled for. I allowed being insulted, cheated and even mocked at. Why? I wanted to be accepted and have friends at least.
I remember one of my classmate said something unknown to her that I was close enough to hear her. She said, “see the way Blessing is just forcing herself to be friends with these girls and they don’t even like her.”
Funny enough, she was right. I knew I was forcing myself on them, I also knew they didn’t like being called my friends nor being around them. But I was not willing to admit that rejection!
I wanted to be accepted at all means. This made me had superficial and insincere friends.
One day, after our junior WAEC examination. Everyone were taking pictures with their friends. As my supposed “friends” stepped out to take a shot, I confidently walked towards them and then came the bombshell!
One of them said, “No Blessing, wait first let us take a shot together first”.
That hit me so hard, what I wasn’t willing to accept was thrown right at my face. Rejection! That was her way of saying, No Blessing we do not count you as a friend or part of us. I needed no interpreter to tell me that.
Let me stop the story here for now. I wanted us to have a clear and vivid picture of what rejection entails.
I believe like me, others have had their shares of rejection too. It could in a relationship, business, family or even career.
Rejection involves pushing someone or something away. Rejection could come from every angle and sadly, rejection comes from those or what we cherish most.
Factually, rejection is a way of life but it comes in shapes, sizes, level and weight. Depending on how severe the extend of a rejection is.
Types of Rejection
👉🏻Relationship and emotional.
👉🏻Business and others
Our focus in this article will be on the first two.
Many of us have being in relationships be it friendship or otherwise that didn’t work out. Why? Because somehow you got rejected.
Some even lament on how they gave their best but at the end were rejected.
You’ve had friends who somehow deserted you and relationships which left you hurt and broken.
See, for years I battled with the weight of my friend’s rejection and of the other children. It affected my interaction and turned me into a timid person. Attending events was a no no and even when compelled to, I look for a secluded and hidden place to hide myself
Why? The rejection I had faced made me loose my self esteem.
I regarded everyone a threat and became so rude and hostile because I was always trying to defend myself and struggling to build a hedge over me.
What has rejection from a partner, friend or society turned you into? I want to let you know it is not God’s will for you. You have to dust that burden of rejection off and embrace the new you.
Hostility will not take the hurt away. It will keep you in more bondage.
The effect of rejection is quite severe. Ranging from trauma to depression and abuse. Did I pass through all of this, yes I did!
I was traumatized, depressed and there were times I asked God questions like, “why did you create me like this” with tears in my eyes (Thank God for His mercies). But you know what, you cannot get answers when your heart is so full of hurt!
If you don’t release that brother or sister who hurt you so much, you won’t get answers from God. This article might be just for one person who ask questions about the number of times of their being rejected or things working contrary to how they wanted. God is telling you that, there is a greater purpose to achieve through that.
How Do We Handle Rejection?
👉🏻Admit the fact that you were rejected
Many persons love to live in denial. I was like that, accepting rejection is one step to overcoming it. A refusal to admit pain does not absent the presence of that pain. It only worsen it. So, admit the rejection even if it hurt. It is better to admit a hurt and live above it then keeping it in and limiting yourself.
👉🏻Find out why you were rejected
The truth is that people will keep rejecting you if you have nothing to offer. Some rejection we face isn’t because the other party is wicked but because we didn’t have anything to offer in that relationship.
Oh that brother! That sister! Rejected me. Calm down bro, calm down sis. First ask, what did I or what didn’t I do right? To expect to be accepted when you have nothing to offer is an error.
Let him or her accept me the way I am. No sir, No Ma. If it is something you can change, control or correct. Do just that!
In my case, I was rejected because of my physical appearance which should never be a reason for anyone to reject someone else. But that wasn’t the whole reason why I was also rejected then. The truth was I had nothing to offer them then!
Yes, I can’t change the way I look but I could have changed the way they looked at me. Yes, you might not be able to change the way you look but you can change the way people look at you.
And you know what? Oh yes I did change the way they looked at me. And with the help of God, I do not go around anymore looking for friends or trying to be accepted. Friends look for me! So, have something to offer only then, will you become irresistible!
👉🏻Make yourself outstanding through that rejection!
It took me years to overcome the trauma of rejection. I must tell you that where I stopped the story wasn’t where the rejection stopped. At a point, I became so ashamed of myself that occasions where people will gather to rejoice was for me a burden and pain. I allowed the rejection suppressed me instead of making me outstanding.
Oh my parents tried to help alongside my siblings, begging me to attend occasions and to look beyond the challenge but I wasn’t budging. They tried as much as possible not to offend me because I’ll always narrow it to being an attack on me because of the physical challenge.
I remember, that it was so bad that I would lock up myself in the room when other member of the family were in the sitting room laughing and gisting, I will be wetting my pillows with tears. Did the tears help? No it didn’t. I was only punishing myself!
But God helped! He came and open His arms of love and made me realize that He made me the way I am so He could love me! And then, at that point I made a vow that through the grace of God, I’ll become a force people will be eager to reckon with! I promised God that I will bring Him glory by being outstanding no matter the rejection I had faced!
My dear, you see the way you are, fat, tall, slim, fair, black, yellow, chocolate or whatever is exactly how God wanted you to be. A purpose is attached to how you were created, to bring God’s glory.
Anything that makes you alter your look or regret the way you were created is trying to limit God’s purpose in your life.* *Rejection of man is a lovingly embrace and acceptance from God!
If I wasn’t created the way He created me, how will you get blessed with my story and glorify His name? Think about it! My whole being right from the point I accepted me for me has brought glory to God and pointed Christ to many. I have become (and will continue to be) a marvel of God’s wondrous work! God wants you to be too.
So, overlook the challenge, overlook the pain, overlook the hurt and stare straight into the eyes of God’s wondrous love for you. You are of God, precious and unique. *Don’t allow devil make you see yourself lesser than how God sees you. You are a royal priesthood, a peculiar treasure designed to show forth His praises. God made you the way you are so He can love you!
Allow His love flow through your heart!
God bless you
©Blessing Eikojonwa Ekele
You can call for counseling
To get more updates on recent articles. Send CIAInspire to +2347068183111 or +2349032596834.
God bless you. Amen