*When Love Doesn’t* *Make *Sense*
Have you ever been in love with someone you know fully well that the world might not accept but you can’t help it but fall deeply into that abyss of the love you both share because it makes a lot of sense to you only? Have you fallen for someone who’s not in your regular world? Someone older than you, outside your tribe, in a different mental space than you, someone who might not fit into the ‘Perfect Picture’ of your love story, someone who makes sense to you alone? Etc. Well, I suggest you buckle up your seat belts because I’m about to take you on a reality check ride that will be absolutely worth it. Grab your popcorns if you can reach it and enjoy the ride!
Several years back, my heart was fragile, tender and new to the loving experience. The only thing I wanted to concern myself about was my bright future because I figure it was the only thing I could control; as I couldn’t control Love. It was a beautiful time and experience being single till I encountered my First Love. Oh, how I was so in love with this flawless human being. The first day I set my eyes on him, I actually knew he had gotten my heart but I still played tough just to make my first love story a memorable one.
It took my ‘First Love’ quite some time to get my total trust and love and once he got it, our relationship was blissful. To be frank, I wasn’t a Professional then in the matter of love and also how to handle my emotions but I sure knew that I was mature in my thoughts and carried myself well in the relationship.
Still young and tender, one can say that our relationship was innocent and healthy. We focused more on the betterment of each other but what seemed like my first and last love story unfortunately turned out to be a disaster.
After about a year later, things happened so fast and we grew apart. It was a painful experience for the fragile young lady but life had to unfortunately move on. I could remember how many times he called very late at nights just to encourage me to work on our beautiful relationship but I couldn’t take his words seriously after several attempts to make things works but it failed every single time I agreed to put in the effort. My heart broke every time the reality of our relationship never returning back to the way it used to be dawned on me. As hard as it was, I still had to move on.
Years passed by and I entered into a mentally different space than I used to be. My taste and preferences for men changed too. I realised that I was more attracted to guys that were extremely calm, more wiser than I am, soft, tender, not engrossed in the social media world, someone understanding and kind. My taste changed entirely from that of the fragile girl few years back that loved good looks, swag and the glitters.
This part of me came into existence as I grew and matured in age. Regardless of the qualities I wanted, I still came across so many good men that didn’t fit into that ‘Mental Picture’ of the qualities of a man I dearly wanted. It was a tough life for me to try with other people to see if it will work out only for our early stage Love Story to come crushing on the ground. It usually ended before I fully committed because I was overly protective of my fragile heart. It wasn’t easy for me to make decisions because there were always options to reconsider for.
I was stuck in a world I wanted to run away from because I hadn’t found the one that made sense to only me and not the world. Someone I can have peace with and not someone that would snatch peace and happiness out from me. I didn’t want so many ‘Exs’ tied to my existence so I was very careful before I said ‘Yes’ to any proposal.
To be honest, I don’t think I have intimately told so many men these three golden words “I Love You”, the reason is because I usually mean every word and it comes from the bottom of my heart. If I don’t mean it, you would never hear me say it because those words are not just mere words to me; I say them with sincerity of heart. Due to this, a lot of guys are left shocked after I reply “Thank you” to their “I Love You” profession. It might sound unfair but at least it’s genuine and sincere.
Life went on as usually till something unexpected happened one beautiful afternoon. It happened that I closed from work early so I had to visit a nice restaurant in the heart of town just to cool off, eat and also work on some left over assignment from the office. I sat at my favourite hidden spot in that restaurant and brought out all the documents I had to work on and dropped them on the table.
As I relaxed that fateful day and gently munched my Irish potato chips, I perceived one of the most pleasant perfume ever and gently looked up to see where such pleasant smell was coming from and immediately caught the sight of someone that instantly made my heart drop. Just as fast as my attention was caught, I took it back and tried to concentrate on my work and not get too distracted but it was already too late because the mysterious gentleman that looked as though he was in his late thirties had already caught my attention and the funny part of the whole thing was that he’s a foreigner; a white guy.
Just by that fact alone, a lot of people in my regular world might see any reality of the both of us ever being an Item as ‘Not Picture Perfect’ and I wished my heart could have listened but I guess it didn’t because Love Knows No Bound, Colour, Race, Ethnicity or Preferences.
Before then, I had met few foreigners too and also worked with some but was never attracted to any; even those that tried to be my friend but this particular one was different. There was just something about this one that distinguished him from the rest I had seen.
As I majestically ate my lunch and occasionally wrote some important things down in my notepad, I heard the most gently “Hello” of my entire life. It sent chills down my spine and almost brought tears to my shiny eyes. I sat there and stared at this gentleness till I summoned the courage to reply “Hi” with a faint smile of my face. “Can I sit with you? ” he asked, “Yes sure” I gently replied and this gentleman took his seat.
The awkwardness in the atmosphere at that moment was too intense that I almost lost concentration. I tried my best to focus and not lose it but every attempt failed woefully.
In a flash of seconds, the mysterious gentleman could already sense that he was making me uncomfortable but I guess that wasn’t enough reason for him to take his leave or back down on any quest he had in mind. He smiled faintly and tried to strike a conversation between us.
“Are you OK? It seems you have so much to do” he said in a concerned tone, “Not really, I am just trying to get some work done as I eat” I replied, “Do you want some chips?” I continued and he smiled and it was one of the most beautiful thing I had seen. His smile was filled with positivity, good vibes and with an addition of peace that I couldn’t place my hands around. The way he smiled made me smile too and I didn’t know why. Before he could say something else to me, the waiter came with a menu for him to go through and order; that little distraction gave me some space and time to breath properly after few minutes of being uncomfortable.
As I sat there trying to breath, I heard him tell the waiter “I will have the same thing she is having”. I smiled and pushed my plate towards him to have some of my food since he ordered the same thing. He took one of my chips and dipped it into the tomato ketchup that was close to the chips. I let him eat while I concentrated with the little work I was trying to get done.
In one of those times, I caught him staring at me in ways you wouldn’t understand even if I took a whole day to explain to you. That intense stare a person gives you that makes you wonder what they are thinking about. He was just lost and looked ‘Love Struck’, while I looked partially composed and in control of my emotions.
Just before I could write further, he said to me; “has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are?”, I smiled and replied “I get that a lot, thanks”. He smiled, looked at me and asked “Are you single?” and I gently nodded ‘Yes’ then he proceeded to say something that instantly pierced my heart. He said; “I don’t believe anyone has actually seen how beautiful you are because if they did, then they would have never let you slip out of their hands. You are beautiful my dear”.
The cuteness was just too much that I didn’t know when I blushed and gently shook my head. Before I could say anything, the waiter brought his food and said “here’s your order sir”.
He helped the waiter to arranged the table and replied; “Don’t call me sir, my name is Gary”.
When Love Doesn’t Make Sense
Love is personal and not a public affair; so therefore, it doesn’t require the masses validation in order for it to be authentic or recognised. When everybody has a say in your personal business, then it isn’t a personal thing after all but rather a public dumping ground for diverse opinions and suggestions from the masses.
From a Race or Tribal point of view, there was no way a relationship with Gary and myself could be a reality because he’s a ‘White Man’ who doesn’t suit any criteria from the ideal man my family and friends imagined that I will end up with, but boundaries was about to be dammed because I was hopelessly love struck with this man that was gradually driving me crazy.
That name ‘Gary’ sounded like a beautiful melody to my ears. His kind gesture towards the waiter was a gist for another day because the gentleman eluded absolutely nothing but kindness and tenderness; the exact traits I dearly needed in the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. A man that wouldn’t see a beggar or less privileged and wind up his car windows, a man that would tell a helper “Thank you” after a service have been rendered regardless of whether he paid the service bills or not, a man that will support me when I try to reach out to people in need and not one that would make mockery of me or talk me into seeing reasons why I shouldn’t be a blessing to my generation, and a man that will be a replica of everything I see in God.
How breathtaking it was that everything I ever wanted was sitting just right next to me in that restaurant. Gary, the man I see in my dreams; only that the reality was that he isn’t black but rather a full blown White Man. What a twist!
Just as I sat there lost in thoughts of Gary, I didn’t even know when he discharged the waiter and began munching his chips with a warm smile on his face. “Holla, are you here?” he playfully inquired and that was when I came back to my senses and to reality too. I smiled along with him and decided to just say something in order not to be perceived as boring.
“Oh nice, your food is here so I can take mine now” I joking said and stretched my hand to reach for my plate but he held my soft palms to stop me from taking the plate. “Eat with me, leave yours” he said with a cute blush on his face. The butterflies in my stomach started dancing as he gently held my hand.
To be very honest, I hadn’t felt that way in my life before. I can’t effectively explain how I felt that day because words would definitely fail me if I try to do so. Have you ever been lost in the presence of someone? Like that feeling that takes over you, but yet you can’t explain it?
When you meet that missing piece to your love puzzle, that ones that completes you and was made for you alone, you will definitely know deep down in your guts without being told by anyone that he/she is your soul mate. Too sad that not a lot of people have experienced that mesmerising feeling because they sadly never end up with the one that was truly made for them.
After the atmosphere became slightly tense, I crossed my fingers and kept praying to God to help me get through that day without losing my mind. In order not to prolong any issue, I joined Gary in munching the chips on his plates and partially worked on the documents I came there with. As we ate happily in silence, he broke the silence; “Can I know your name?” Gary asked, “Sonnie” I replied and he was blown away. “Wow, I really like your name” he said and I thanked him for the nice compliment. “Where are you from?” he continued and I boldly said “Nigeria” then he smiled even more.
For a second, I was confused as to why he smiled even more after I told him I was Nigerian. In my mind, I kept contemplating and wondering what was going through his mind at that moment because my country hasn’t been shaded much in a good light in most foreign nations due to one unfortunate thing or the other. I deeply wanted to know what was going on in his mind so I proceeded to ask him more questions.
“Why did you smile that way after I revealed my nationality to you” I playfully said just to sound less confused and worried. Immediately I said that, Gary stretched his hands and placed his palm on top of my hands that were rested on the table. He looked right into my eyes and said; “Sonnie, you don’t need to raise up any walls or be defensive with me because I’m not the type of person that stereotypes or generalise a person based on where they come from. There are so many good people from badly portrayed places and a person shouldn’t suffer because of something they have no hand in. Please don’t feel that way with me dear and don’t ever think for one second that I would stoop so low to judge a person I haven’t given the chance to prove themselves, all because of what exactly? Nahh stop that! Don’t think about that Sonnie” he gracefully said.
Oh My My My! At that point, if the trumpet sounded and the world came to an instant end, I would have felt highly fulfilled with the way it ended for me because those words that come out from Gary’s mouth was enough hope for humanity and would have served as a befitting way for me to say “Goodbye” to this beautiful earth. My My!
After that wholesome conversation, I figured it was time for me to take my leave because evening was gradually drawing near. I took a deep breath and broke my departure news to Gary and he felt sad that I had to leave. There and then, he optioned to drop me off but I turned down the offer right away because I didn’t want to give him the slightest clue that I was into him very much. He asked for my number and I felt the least I could do was to give it to him because I dearly wanted to see him again too. We exchanged numbers and parted ways afterwards.
As I majestically walked away from the restaurant, I could feel it deep down in my soul that Gary was looking at me as though his life depended on it. It made me smile and I also killed the catwalk as I headed for the main door. What a memorable evening indeed for me because it was a day I felt alive again since after my First Love.
That night, I wasn’t expecting his call at all because I felt he would take his time before calling but I was proved wrong. Few minutes after 7pm that very day, my phone rang and it was an unknown number but I knew deep down that he was the one calling. After ringing for a while, I picked up.
“Hello” I greeted with a soft tone, “Holla” the voice at the end of the line replied. I immediately knew who was on the phone so I said “Gary?”, he chuckled and replied “Where you expecting someone else?” and we both laughed. It was such a happy time that evening as we talked about random things.
As the phone call came to an end, Gary officially asked me out on a date with him. I was beyond shocked, yet excited because I get to see this amazing human being again. The date was scheduled for that weekend, so it meant I had some time to prepare. When I accepted the date offer, I could tell he was very happy. The venue and date was agreed upon and the call finally ended.
The countdown to that weekend officially began and I was super excited. I honestly didn’t know what to wear because my wardrobe was basically filled with work clothes. With that in mind, I had to go shopping on Friday evening after I closed from the office. Immediately I entered the boutique, my eyes went straight to a very nice white jumpsuit I knew I would be comfortable in. I chose that dress because it was the only one that captured my heart.
Money was paid for the dress and I took my dear cloth home to prep it for my dinner date the next day. That night, I don’t remember sleeping as I kept fantasising of what would go down the next day. Gary had called a couple of times and we were both excited about the upcoming date.
The day and time scheduled finally came and I dressed for a night that would determine any reality of Gary and I together as an item. I arrived at the venue 26minutes late than the appointed time. When Gary set his eyes on me, I could see the happiness in his eyes as he stood up to give me a hug. I hugged him and he reciprocated with a slight peck on my cheek.
Deep Down, I wanted more than just a peck but Hey! It was too early for any of that. When we were fully seated, a conversation started. “You look gorgeous” Gary said, “Thanks and you too” I replied with a smile on my face. “So what are we having for dinner?” he inquired and we made our orders.
The African girl in me ordered the things I knew I had the money there and then to pay for, just in case things went south ways; I guess they call it “Vex Money”. The food came shortly and we began eating while we conversed.
Everything was going very well till something tragic happened. As we ate, the waitress came with a wine and as she poured into our glasses, her hands slipped and the glass cup fell and all wine emptied on my beautiful white dress. Oh My My! I almost died that moment.
Normally, a rage expression was expected but I was even more concerned about the lady that had a minor domestic accident. “I’m so sorry! Please I’m very very sorry” the waitress said as great fear gripped her. I believe side watchers were expecting a dramatic reaction from me but the absolute reverse was the case.
“Are you OK? Hope you didn’t hurt yourself? ” were the words that came out of my mouth. At that moment, I even forgot that I was on a date and that my beautiful jumpsuit got ruined, all I was concerned about was for someone not to lose her job because of an overpriced jumpsuit that I wasn’t even going to wear again for a long time after that date.
As the little scene lingered, the manager of the restaurant came out to apologise to me but I still stood my ground that I was OK and was rather more concerned that the lady doesn’t lose her job because of that minor incident. “Sir, please don’t sack or query her. It could have happened to any professional staff of yours, I’m truly ok” I said. They thanked me and apologised once more before tidying the place and taking their leave.
Immediately they left, it finally dawned on me that I was with someone. It was then that it dawned on me that Gary had been watching the whole drama quietly and was utterly speechless. Before I could utter any word to him for us to continue our conversation, he looked into my eyes and said these magical words; “It would be the joke of the century if you ever think I would let you slip out of my hands. I am never going to make the mistake other man made with you. Sonnie, I don’t ‘Think’ but I ‘Know’ that I am in Love with You”.
My heart dropped as I tried to digest every word Gary said to me. I looked lost as I stared right into his eyes. Tears almost fell off my eyes as I tried to find the right words to say at that moment.
As I was about to say something, Gary held one of my hands and pecked it. He looked up to my face and soberly said; “Please don’t say anything except you are saying a Yes”.
*When Love Doesn’t Make* Sense
Have you ever been put in a good tight spot? Like when you are deeply happy about something that supposedly seems pressing but you like the whole feeling and low-key excited that you are in that tight spot? Well, that’s how I felt when Gary’s authoritative side showed off that very evening.
Just imagine how I felt when the man I was deeply attracted to told me that he wasn’t going to let me slip right through his hands. The butterflies in my stomach didn’t give me a break; as they danced till their feet probably began to hurt. I don’t even want to start giving the gist of how my whole body instantly became numb and cold; like I was transformed and transported into another world that involved just Gary and I.
My heart? I don’t even want to start talking about how my heart raced non-stop. At that moment, Usian Bolt had nothing on me because my heart raced faster than he had ever ran. Oh My! it’s safe to say that I have truly experienced what Love truly feels like and I would never trade that priceless feeling for anything in the whole world. What a ‘Love Struck’ lady I was at that moment; no lies!
After the beautiful indirect proposal from Gary, I just couldn’t stop staring into his eyes. It was even at that point that I noticed his cute and yummy lips. So all these package could be mine any minute if I just said those magical words “Yes”?. Let me not even start talking about his physique. It’s so amazing how the things and traits I never prayed too much for in the man I wanted to spend ‘Forever’ with, was all in this Man. Like how lucky can I get more than this? I guess it’s safe to say at this point that I am truly blessed.
“Are you still here?” Gary calmly inquired when he figured I had been mute for a while. Immediately he said that, I came back to my senses and managed to keep the conversation going. “Yeah I am here!” I responded with a cute smile on my face and he smiled too. “You don’t have to think too much now about what I just said, that’s how I feel but would respect you enough to give you some space and time to think about my proposal. I love you Sonnie, I really do” he gently said.
At that point, I had so many things going on in my head and the reality of us ever being together was scary because I knew so many tongues will wag because they never saw it coming but at that point, I was ready to risk it all because I was in Love too. Like I was deeply in love in a way I hadn’t been since after my First Love and there was no way I was going to let this happiness and peace slip right through my hands too. But despite the fact that I was beginning to fall for Gary, I still applied caution so as not to hurt myself in the process too because everything was just too good to be true. My heart loved him quite alright, but my head was also in the game to avoid premium tears in a short while. My fingers were crossed as I hoped for nothing but the best in what seemed like the beginning of a Love Journey.
As our beautiful date came to an end, Gary brought out his card and cleared the bills and wanted to order take-out for me but I bluntly refused and told him I was good. I thanked him for a wonderful night and we headed to the parking lot where he parked his car. Up until then, I hadn’t really seen any high priced material thing on him; except maybe his phone, but his car was a MACHINE. Even though I don’t fancy flashy or glittery things, I have to acknowledge this car because I didn’t see it coming at all.
To be honest, I wanted to take an Uber home and not bother Gary about having to drop me off but I guess that wasn’t going to be possible because he had already beeped the car with his remote. “Get in let me take you to your house” he said but I declined the kind gesture for reasons unknown. “You honestly don’t need to bother, I am good and would take an Uber home” I politely said but he insisted; “Please just get into the car so I can do my job. It’s late now and I wouldn’t feel at peace knowing you are in the car of a stranger, I brought you out here tonight so let me make sure you are safely home too” he said.
At that point, I knew there was no need arguing because it would only prolong and stress the issue the more so I accepted the offer. We entered into the car and set out to my destination firstly before his.
While Gary was driving, I occasionally looked towards the window direction just to distract myself from looking at him to avoid eye contacts. It was a smooth ride with a nice song playing in the background. I knew the song so I gently hummed to it and moved my head side by side in the process.
As I quietly hummed the song, Gary joined me and we hummed together. He occasionally blew whistle with his mouth and it made the humming more melodious. The awkwardness in the atmosphere reduced and I didn’t know when I started laughing. Every laughter increased the whistling and humming on Gary’s part. Such an unbothered person that doesn’t hold life too seriously.
The little things that actually makes me happy are those highly insignificant things that don’t carry much weight and actually requires less effort. Gary undoubtedly looked like the person that would do playful things with me because I definitely know how to play when I want to. He looked like the perfect fit for my ‘Once In a While’ goofiness.
Finally, we arrived my destination and it was time to bid goodbye to Gary. Mere looking at him, I could tell he didn’t want me to go, but it was quite unfortunate that I had to. “Bye, see you another time” I said with a smile on my face, “When would that time be?” he curiously inquired and I smiled even more; “I don’t know, you tell me when you want that time to be” I said, “Ok, how about tomorrow then? Because that’s how soon I want to see you again” he soberly said.
Awwn, I almost blushed to death that day. Matter of fact, my cheek started hurting as a result of excess blushing. Those foreign movies I have watched felt as though it was happening in real life. It was such an overall awesome experience that day as I watched my heart get snatched right before my very eyes and couldn’t do anything to stop myself from falling for this determined gentleman. Everything about him triggered me to fall deeper for him.
The idea of meeting again was a good one because I definitely wanted to meet Gary again. He told me to except his call the next day and also be up on my toes because another meeting was around the corner. I nodded my head to every word he said and finally alighted from the car. As I walked away from the car, he wind down the glass and beeped the car horn to get my attention. I gently turned towards him and he said a reassuring “I Love You” to me. I smiled and replied “Thank you, I appreciate”. He bid me goodbye and drove off.
With Gary out of sight, I finally had the liberty to smile as wide as I wanted. I blushed as I walked into my house. Every cute thing that happened earlier that evening began to cross my mind again. I blushed as though I was about to faint because the butterflies in my stomach just didn’t want to let me be. It was such a memorable date and I was glad it went well and was totally worth it.
That night, I slept like a baby and smiled whenever my mind revisited memory lane. “What a beautiful time to be alive” I gently said to myself as I laid on my bed that night.
Just as promised, Gary called the next day and we spoke at length. He called at night before bed time and we spoke till either of us got tired. His company was addictive because I usually didn’t want our conversation to end. I believe the feeling was mutual as we both felt same way towards each other.
After our first date, we had gone out a couple of times again and it was blissful. We had so much fun whenever we were together and usually wanted more. At that point, Gary and I had grown very fond of each other and were beginning to loosen up whenever we were together. I wasn’t too uptight like I used to because I was beginning to get comfortable around him. However, despite our closeness, I still hadn’t said those magical words “I Love You” to him.
To be honest, I didn’t know why I was still holding back from officially accepting Gary into my life as my partner. I didn’t know why I was scared of committing fully to him. For crying out loud, he was everything I ever wanted and more but there I was; delaying from making him totally mine. Gary knew that I was still having doubts about Us but never tried to fuel that doubt or confront it. He allowed me to take as much space as I needed before accepting his proposal, but one thing he made perfectly clear was that he wasn’t going to let me slip out of his hands. Ever!
Everything continued normally till one fateful day. It happened that Gary showed up at my office at close of work to pick me up. I was super excited to see him and also thanked him for driving all the way to come pick me up from work. We exchanged greetings and set out to leave.
Gary drove round town that evening and we had long conversations. We talked about so many intimate stuffs and got to know each other on a more deeper level. It was such a beautiful evening till we made a stop at an open field. Some stores were close by and little children ran up and down. The view was lovely and the atmosphere was quiet.
Deep down in my heart, I wished that cool moment would last forever. I looked towards Gary’s direction and caught him staring at me. “What are you looking at?” I playfully said and he smiled. “What’s still holding you from accepting me?” he soberly inquired and I blinked my eyes; “I don’t know, maybe I am scared” I replied, “Scared of what?” he curiously asked and I became speechless.
Just as I sat there without words, Gary held my chin and lifted my face; “You don’t have to be afraid of anything Sonnie, please trust me with your heart and I promise to never give you a reason to regret the day you did” he gently said.
There and then, it just dawned on me that I had found my soul mate and the missing piece to my puzzle. I looked into his blue eyes and uttered those words I had held back for a very long time.
“I Love You So Much” I said with teary eyes and before I could successfully finish my sentence, Gary drew closer and gave me a passionate Kiss.
*When Love Doesn’t Make* Sense
A passionate kiss goes beyond mere rubbing of lips or exchange of saliva, it also contains deep emotions and feeling for one another. There are different levels to kissing and that fateful night was the first time I understood what it truly felt like to want someone. It undoubtedly wasn’t my first kiss but it was definitely the very first time in my life I attached so much emotions and feelings to kissing. It was the first time I closed my eyes for real and just didn’t want to open them because I felt any little distraction would teleport me back to the reality that I wasn’t in paradise. Such gentle and pure kiss that I didn’t want it to end. What a man Gary is!
As we kissed passionately, I could feel the overflow of emotions Gary attached to every movement of his lips. He wanted me and I could feel it in my guts that the gentleman was trapped in an abyss of the love he had for me. He ran his fingers through my wig and held my chin afterwards. Goosebumps covered my whole body and I guess he noticed as he gently ran his hands all over my arms.
After over 2 minutes of being lost in the presence of each other, we finally redrew our lips from one another. The whole atmosphere instantly became awkward and quiet. I tried to say something but couldn’t find the right words to use.
On the other hand, Gary was just smiling and felt very comfortable than I was. By mere looking at him, you could tell that he enjoyed every bit of the kiss and was glad that I had finally professed my love for him too. He was just all smiles while I looked confused and shy.
“Thank you, Thank you” Gary voiced out and I was curious to know why he was thanking me. “Why? Why are you saying ‘Thank you’ to me?” I inquired and he smiled even more. “Are you hungry?” he excitedly asked and his excitement almost made me blush. “Why did you say ‘Thank You’ to me?” I insisted and this time around, he had no other choice than to come clean with the truth. “I’m thanking you for finally accepting me, I am very happy Sonnie, you wouldn’t understand. Let’s have dinner and celebrate, today is a very good day for me and for us too” he happily said.
The excitement Gary eluded slowly began to rub off on me and I didn’t even know when I joined him in smiling. Few minutes later, we set out to a nice restaurant to have dinner before going home. Gary dropped me off before heading to his own destination.
The remaining hours of that day was blissful and a happy one indeed. After that cozy evening, an official relationship was birthed between Gary and I. After keeping the relationship a secret for a while, I had to tell my younger sister that I was dating a foreigner ‘White Man’ before proceeding to tell my immediate elder brother what had been going on in my life because I was already feeling guilty from keeping such detail a secret.
“Ah! Oyibo Pepper kwa? OK ooh” was my sister’s reaction the very night I told her over the phone. My brother didn’t have much issue with Gary being a ‘White Man’ but was more concerned about my happiness. “Are you happy?” My brother asked when I spilled the news to him, “Yes I am” was my reply. He gave me some advice and told me to be careful and not compromise my values and standard because they all had a particular perception about inter-racial relationships. Regardless, I managed to convince them that Gary was a good man and wasn’t trying to exploit or use me. All fingers were crossed and everyone hoped for the best for our love. Well, everything went on perfectly fine till one fateful day.
It happened that I visited Gary unannounced because I have a spare key to his apartment. It’s a penthouse kind of apartments in a very choiced part of town. His neighbours are mostly foreigners too from his country and other continents. The security at the gate is usually very tight because you can’t get in unless you have a coded number; which they change every one hour or the person that has the apartment calls them with a particular land line every apartment has. Due to the fact that the security personnels are aware that Gary and I are friends, they usually let me in without being too strict with their security procedures.
When I got into the compound, I took a deep breath and checked for Gary’s key that was in my bag, just to make sure I was truly with it. When I figure the key was intact, I walked inside the building.
After about a minute of being in the Lifter, I walked towards Gary’s apartment door and tried to insert my key but it couldn’t enter. “Is Gary around?” I thought to myself and removed my phone from my bag to call him. The phone rang but no one picked up so I subjected to knocking.
After knocking thrice, the door gently opened and I almost dropped dead when I saw a lady that looked as though she was in her early 30s, wearing Gary’s lemon T-shirt.
I was shocked, dumbfounded and numb at the same time. Before I could manage to say something, the lady boldly asked; “Who Are You?”.
When Love Doesn’t Make Sense
You haven’t truly understood 💔 break heart until someone you never imagine could break your heart, eventually does. Expectations are very deadly because your spirit, soul and body gets shattered if that expectation falls short. Just imagine how I felt that very day when I saw the mysteriously lady in my supposed partner’s house with his T-shirt on her body. I don’t think I truly have the right words to effectively describe the state of my heart that very day; It was beyond shattered!
As I stood there staring at a lady I knew absolutely nothing about nor where she uprooted from, my heart began to race and my whole body became numb. The question she asked was really annoying because I felt I was in a better position to ask that question “Who Are You?”. I was utterly irritated at that point but kept my cool regardless.
“My name is Sonnie, and you?” I calmly said, “I am Mercedes, so how can I help you?” she asked, “I am here to see Gary, is he at home?” I replied with anger secretly boiling within me and she chuckled. “Did you call before coming to his house? I’m asking because if you did, then you would have known that Gary isn’t around at the moment” Mercedes rudely said.
At that moment, I figured it was best I took my leave before I lose my cool, as the strange lady was being very rude and respectful to me by her manner of approach. I gently nodded my head and walked away without uttering another word.
As I took each step towards the elevator, my heart shattered. Tears clouded my eyes as I pushed the elevator button to signify that I was going down. As the door opened and I entered inside, tears started dropping down my eyes. It was really painful for me to believe that Gary had been playing with my heart all along. Such effrontery he had to give another lady the keys to his apartment, while knowing fully well that I had my own spare key since over a month ago; how loosed and manipulative he was. Matter of fact, I was done with his lying and cheating self. I didn’t even bother to give any room for explanations from Gary because I was already convinced that he was cheating on me.
Immediately I got out of the elevator, I brought out my phone and quickly ordered an Uber to come pick me up. As I walked towards the gate, the security officers opened the main gate and Lo & Behold, It was Gary driving in. My countenance didn’t look friendly at all and I ignored the fact that I saw him driving in.
“Hey, Babe! Where are you going to?” Gary shouted from his car window but I snubbed the living daylight out of him. He hurriedly got down from the car and hastened his steps just to meet up with me but before he fully came out of the gate, I had already entered the Uber that was parked across the building and threw his house key that I was holding from the window. In a twinkle of an eye, the Uber driver zoomed off, leaving shocked Gary behind. Few minutes later, my phone started blowing up with calls from him but I didn’t pick any. When the calling became too much, I switched off my phone.
The ride back home that fateful day was very devastating for me. I held myself so hard not to cry in front of the Uber driver that experienced all the Drama that happened few minutes back. After a little while, we finally got to my house and I paid the driver and walked into the compound. Immediately I entered inside my room, the tears I had been holding back since I saw that strange lady finally let loose.
That day, I cried like I hadn’t cried in a long time and certainly didn’t want to be consoled at all. I cried and sobbed till my head, heart and body began to hurt badly. I couldn’t stop wondering why Gary would do something as terrible as that to our relationship that was barely two months old. To be honest, I was truly heart broken and started having thoughts of giving up on Love because I was tired and afraid of committing to anyone again. What a sad day for me indeed!
While I was crying my eyes out that evening, I had no idea that Gary was on his way to my house that very moment. It was after about an hour later that I heard a heavy knock on my door. Before then, Gary had never entered inside my compound before, he usually stopped at the gate whenever he came around. I believe he must have asked someone outside which particular room belonged to me. The knock was very heavy that my heart almost dropped when I heard it.
“Who’s that?” I soberly inquired with a low tone and that was when Gary spoke up. “Babe open the door please, let’s talk! I promise I can explain. Babe open the door!” he calmly said but I was too hurt and broken to see or hear anything from him. “Just go please, it’s over and I don’t want to hear you lie to my face this minute, Just leave now!” I furiously said.
It was clear that Gary wasn’t ready to move an inch that evening without seeing me so we could talk things out. He persisted and kept insisting that I open the door for him. After going back and forth, I finally opened the door for him to come in. When he entered inside, he tried to hold my hands but I furiously knocked his hands off mine. “Don’t you ever touch me again! You just have one minute to say what brought you here and leave. Why are you here?” I flared up.
At that moment, Gary didn’t even know where to start from because he could see that I was ready to risk it all. He kept quiet for me to cool off before talking. “Babe let me explain what you saw in my house. Mercedes is a long time friend of mine who came to town yesterday for an appointment. She finished late and couldn’t leave town yesterday so she called and asked to spend the night at my house. I wasn’t at home cause I was out of town; which you are very much aware of. The cleaners left the keys to my house with the security so I called and told them to give it to Mercedes when she arrives. I hadn’t been at home and was just coming back when you saw me drive in. Babe I would never disrespect or hurt you like that, you have to trust me. I know I should have told you I had a guest but it totally skipped my mind. I swear I have never cheated on you since we started seeing each other and would never do a thing like that to you. Babe you are enough for me; you can follow me back to the house now to see for yourself that I am saying the truth. Please you have to believe me” he soberly said.
Oh My! At that point I was more confused than ever because I didn’t know what to believe anymore. Everything Gary said sounded very convincing but it could be a Big Fat Lie too, so I wasn’t ready to fall for it. “How can someone who’s just a friend behave so disrespectful towards me without even knowing who I was? Except there’s something backing such audacity up. She disrespected me in a way that doesn’t suit your story. Gary please leave my house I need space, I don’t think I am ready for this conversation. I want enough time alone and away from you. Please go!” I said with tears in my eyes.
Despite all I said and did, Gary still didn’t want to leave but after much persistence from me, he finally took his leave. That day was a very sad one for both of us and I wondered what he said to Mercedes afterwards because I received a message from an anonymous sender later that night apologising for being rude. It was obvious that she was the one but I never replied nor picked any of their calls.
What initially seemed like some time apart, gradually began to grow into something worst. Due to the time we spent apart from each other, my love for Gary began to grow cold as the day went by. He tried severally for us to talk things through and amend every brokenness in our relationship but I sadly wasn’t connecting nor trying to get my Man back. It killed me slowly everyday that things were beginning to get worst but I honestly didn’t know why I was holding back from totally forgiving Gary and taking him back. Our relationship was headed towards a wreck if something didn’t happen sooner to rekindle our love for one another. Everything continued same way till Gary did something dramatic one fateful day.
It turns out Gary was aware that the firm I work with was hosting a trade fair. The fair was massive because we started preparing for it since the beginning of the year. That day, I was very busy running from one stand to the other making sure that everything was going on smoothly. I had no clue that Gary went behind my back and paid the technical officials to display “Sonnie, Your Baby Is Sorry. He Said He Isn’t Going Anywhere!” on the big projector that was in the entrance and also at centre of the big field.
I would never forget that day; what a dramatic, yet cute way to crawl back into my heart. I wasn’t aware of what was going on cause I was running up and down to round up as it was already getting dark. My attention was drawn to the projector when my colleagues started laughing and making “Awwn” sounds. I quickly looked up and my heart dropped when I saw what was written on the projector slides.
There and then, a wide smile took over my face and I suddenly started blushing because my colleagues weren’t helping matters with the “Awwn” sounds they were making. It was such a cute gesture but I had to get back to work almost immediately, but this time around, I just could stop blushing as I worked.
After we had closed for the day and everyone departed to their various destinations, I walked out of the fair venue only for a car to flash it’s lights twice to get my attention. I turned towards the direction the lights came from and Lo & Behold, It was Gary’s car. Before I could figure out what to do, he started driving towards my direction.
As Gary got closer, I smiled faintly but immediately concealed my happy expression. He finally got to where I stood, wind down the window glass and said; “Remember I told you I wasn’t going to let you slip right through my hands? Well, when I said that I wasn’t playing games. Babe, I’m never letting you go, Ever!”.
After hearing such heartfelt words of assurance, my heart raced. I looked into my baby’s eyes, smiled and said “Forever?”.
Gary got down from the car and walked closer to me. He held my waist, nodded his head and boldly said “Yes Babe, Forever!”.