What does it really mean when a husband doesn’t spend time with his wife? Does it signal the end of marriage? How serious is it? What can you do to turn this situation around? I will do my best to address these questions, so please read on…
Meaning #1: He doesn’t understand the importance of spending time together with you.
When a husband doesn’t spend time with his wife, one reason could be that he is totally unaware of how important spending time with his wife is – to sustain a happy marriage. No matter how much modern society has changed, nurturing a relationship is still largely a woman’s job because men just aren’t equipped with the skills of “how to have great relationships”.
While building close relationships with others comes naturally to women, men tend to be at a loss. So don’t assume your husband understands your need to spend quality time together. He might think it’s more important that he work hard at his career to provide for the family. In fact, according to his standards, he may even think that he’s spending enough time with you. If this is the case, your solution could be to ask him sweetly “Can we please go out for dinner together on Friday?” Give your husband specific instructions and see if he’s willing to make time for you.
Meaning #2: He’s trying to sort things out by himself (by retreating to his “man-cave”).
Sometimes, one just needs peace and quiet to think. Men like to solve problems by themselves because asking others for help can feel like a sign of weakness to them. So, if your husband is spending even less time with you than usual, it could be that he is worrying about something and needs time alone to sort things out.
Ask your husband if anything is bothering him and tell him that you are willing to listen. If he opens up, please keep very quiet and only listen. Don’t give advice. Don’t add in comments. Just keep your mouth shut and listen. When he stops, say “Tell me more” and be silent. Don’t try to solve his problems for him unless he asks you to. Always ask for his permission before you give advice.
But what if he doesn’t open up and share? Then leave him alone and when he comes to you, give him a big smile and tell him you’ve missed him. If this still doesn’t work, try writing him a letter to tell him how you feel.
Meaning #3: You need to focus on bringing fun back into your relationship.
The best way to encourage your husband to spend more time with you is to make interactions with you fun. Don’t just stick to your boring old routine; don’t pile all your family issues on him the minute you see him. Focus on always doing something fun and exciting first! Help him to associate pleasure with your company.
I know it’s hard to cheer up and be light and fun when you’re feeling stressed about your marriage. However, dwelling on things and being depressed and angry about it won’t serve your goal of attracting your husband to spend more time with you.
Too often, we get caught up with the responsibilities and mundane tasks of married life, that we don’t give ourselves enough time to have fun. Smile more; laugh more; become more like the charming, fun woman your husband married and you just might succeed at kissing the worries of “husband doesn’t spend time with wife” goodbye!