One of the first things to consider after you reconnect with your ex boyfriend is how far you’d like to take things. Chances are he’s not looking for merely a “friend”, even if he’s coming across that way. If you were the one who initiated contact, maybe you’re trying to win your boyfriend back. Dating your ex can be comfortable and exciting, but you’ll need to be careful to avoid the same pitfalls you fell into when the two of you broke up the first time. But if it was your ex who initiated contact, he could be looking to repair your relationship… or perhaps something a little less significant and more temporary.
Always understand that your ex boyfriend could be contacting you purely for sexual reasons. After being broken up for a while, both of your physical needs will be peaked. You might even be weak, and easily susceptible to falling into bed together. If this is the case, make sure ahead of time that you’re okay with it. Sleeping with your ex isn’t all that bad if no one gets hurt. But spending the night with your ex boyfriend and expecting something more to come out of it… that could get painful. You’ll need to talk to him first to see where he stands. In that type of situation, it might be better to wait.
In regards to getting your ex back, the fact that you’re talking again is a very good sign. If your ex had moved on with his life, he most likely wouldn’t be dealing with you all that much. You might get a friendly email here or there, or maybe a “How are you doing?” text message. Phone calls however, are much more significant. When your ex finally calls, you should handle it with cool confidence. Keeping it short will keep you from diving into things too quickly: a common mistake many girls make while trying to get back together with an ex-boyfriend.
Let your ex know you’re happy to hear from him, but temper it with the fact that you’re busy and can’t stay on the phone long. This will intrigue him as to exactly what you’re up to, and why you’re “blowing him off” instead of talking to him for a longer period of time. A prolonged phone call could actually hurt your chances here, as it gives your ex-boyfriend the chance to feel you out and see what you’re up to. Once his has this information, he could disappear for another month or two. But by keeping most things a mystery, he’s not going to know where he stands – or more importantly, where you stand in regards to moving on.
The fact is that even though he was the one who broke it off, your ex doesn’t want you moving forward until he does. Hence, your happy little probing friendship. Take away the friendship part, and all you have is your ex sticking his neck out to find out what you’re up to. This is good, because it puts you at an advantage. Don’t let him off the hook by being his innocent buddy. Don’t tell him you’re doing “nothing” and not dating anybody. Don’t lie, but don’t answer to him either. You goal is to get your ex interested again. If he’s talking to you, it means your ex boyfriend misses you. He may even say this, and that’s fantastic. But that’s not something you should say back to him right away – at least not over the phone.
Talking to your ex on a consistent basis will inevitably lead to seeing each other again. This sort of meeting will be a reunion date of sorts, and you’ll need to handle it with much of the same cool, levelheadedness you used to approach regaining contact. Fixing a break up is a long road, and there are many turns that can get you lost. By staying true to yourself and keeping the end goal in sight, you’ll eventually push just the right buttons that will make your ex come back to you.